Monday, October 27, 2014

1L Confessions

If you would've asked me 4 or 5 years ago what I wanted to do, I had this really elaborate plan set up in my head that was drilled into me my whole life. It wen't a little something like this: "I wanna go to college, get my masters, go to law school, become a lawyer, and open up my firm firm to help out my family." 

In reality, I had no idea what the hell I was saying. No one in my family had been to college before, I didn't even know what lawyers really did. Hell I barely knew anything about the law. It was all just a scapegoat really, because I didn't know what I could do that could make my family happy & myself happy. Being a lawyer never sounded horrible, it just never called to me. But many things don't. Rarely do I feel extremely passionate about something.

But crazy thing is now, I'm a college graduate, and I'm in my first year of law school...I honestly never thought, that I'd be in law school. You ask anyone around me, I'd probably be the last person you'd expect to be in law school lol. It just seems so ridiculous to me when I step back and look at my life. I never set my expectation this high...my parents definitely did, but me? never. I have this mental limit on myself. I know I'm not an over achiever, but I can get things done. 

I can't remember what pushed me so hard to do this, but I've lost that really strong desire I had this time last year to excel. Maybe its the stress from school, I dunno, but I'm hoping to find it again. I've probably written about it somewhere in these blog posts, which I plan on reading over again, since I'm procrastinating right now -___- lol

My last update was my birthday, I swear I though I did another post after that....probably something I ended up deleting lol
But Law School is pretty much what everyone and thier mothers told me it was gonna be like. "read read read read read & read more". I read soooooooo much. My case books are basically extensions of my body at this point, its about 200 pgs a week....smh and then the briefing of each case is a nightmare...my god..But I can do it...I did pretty well on my mid terms, which I think is what shot down my motivation...I need to really humble down myself some more and get back to the grind. It's not even like the work is hard...its just so much of it, it almost becomes unbearable...lol

But yeah...just felt like my blog needed an update. Long story short. I'm in Law School now and I have no clue what I'm doing, but I'm pretty sure I'm on the same boat as the other 1L's as well lol.

& 2 more things. I don't sleep anymore, and coffee has become a staple in my diet even though I still think it tastes like garbage lol. 
-Till next time my neglected blog

oh & a pic since this was originally a photoblog haha, dunno what I'd do without these guys =]

Monday, August 11, 2014

Stay Positive.

Work has been endless lately. Been having 7 day work weeks. Honestly pretty sure I've worked 30 days in a row without a day off besides my birthday. I even worked the day after, just hungover out of my mind. The stress has been killing me. At least with just working all the time, all I was, was just tired. But now with all these school things popping up, I've been getting REALLY stressed out. The stress of school this time is almost over bearing. Before at Davis I was stressed, but this time so much more is on the line. Money wise, future...everything depends on it. I know I shouldn't worry so much about the debt, but seeing these HUGE numbers scare me....a lot lol. I feel so pressured that I have to do well, or else I'm just gonna screw myself over. And to make things even better I haven;t found a place to live in/near school yet, I've been feeling better about this though, but still stressed.
My only outlets to relieve my stress lately have been the Gym, and my friends, which turned out to be Wednesday night outings lol. I dunno how it worked out to just hanging out almost every Wednesday, but it did. And I'm glad, somewhat lol, it made the work weeks that much more bearable, I just worked looking forward to not the weekends, but Wednesdays. I would've lost it easily by now if it weren't for my friends =]
I dunno how I'm gonna deal with school, if its as hard as everyone says it will be, I'm gonna lose my mind after the first semester. Just praying I can find some sort of balance.
School starts tomorrow, mandatory 3 day orientation, its not even class and I'm nervous as hell. I wasn't even sure how I was suppose to dress for law school, I had to google it lmao. I know I'll do fine...but I have to do better than fine this time around. PRESSURE! D;
end rant. lol
Anyways, my birthday was crackin as usual; no need to go into too much detail. Just the usual. Food, drinks, & great company =]


Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Living Life to the Fullest.

Just re-read some of my old posts and I'm really glad I wrote them. When someone else may read these they get a small glimpse into what I was thinking at the moment, but when I read them, I get a whole rush of memories, they remind me exactly how I felt during that span of time. Very reminiscent, whether they're my happy, sad, or just ranting posts, its dope that I can remember how I was feeling at the time of these posts lol.

Well blog...since my last posts which was practically half a year ago..many many things have happened as usual...atleast it gives me something to write about lol. Seems my last post was half update and half me ranting about my ex, I was still hung up over it at that time to be honest. But I've really moved on once and for all now & I couldnt enjoy being single any more than I am right now (:

My last update I was studying for my LSATS...we'll I took them in February, and I got into Law School now =] I shall be starting school in August...my feels on this are everywhere. I'm excited but scared, and I hear so many mixed things about law school that its hard to stay motivated to be honest. But I think at this point, I just gotta pile on through. A quote from Brook: "Tim, you don't really fail at anything" lol. I think if I just give it my all like I always have, it should be okay. My end results usually satisfy my expectations, so i'm prepared =]

My relationship life is good enough for me at the moment, I try not to do anything to serious, I just need some female interaction from time to time lmao

I really feel like my social life has boomed though, even though I work at a Law Firm and on the off days I do construction, my network has really grown, even though its hard to meet people. I've made new friends (I'll shout you out Justin since I know you'll read this lol) and I've re connected with old ones. (mini rant) After highschool I really had this mentality that less friends is better. That whole no drama thing and such. But I've come to the conclusion that its really just the people in Brentwood, having less friends may have less drama, but I think I have a good judgement of character to where I can pick my friends wisely =] I don't wanna go through life with the mentality of having a "small circle" cause really...thats just stupid. The people that think that way, just have really shitty people around them & I choose to surround my self with those who bring out the best in me. And it helps not being stuck in a town, where the only people you meet are burnouts lol.(end of mini rant) Balancing time between friends,work, and the gym is hard, but I'm trying. I've been neglecting my hometown homies though, and I feel bad, but time is so scarce :( Saw them like maybe twice in the last month, partly because we all suck ass at communicating though lol. But its dope though, cause when we meet up everything feels normal and thats how best friends should be lol

Been hanging out alot more with my uncle, old San Jose friends, and my college buddies. Feel like I've gotten even closer them in the past few months, lovin it lol=] Especially after EDC...but I'll continue on that at the end lol. We're all doing our own thing now, but we still manage to meet up often and chill, I just hope it can continue, I love these fools lol ^_^ Just went wine tasting with them a few days ago too...I hate wine, but its about the company...and how drunk you can get lol
PC: To Lincy on this one (:

Quick info in my fitness: Last post I was in the process of bulking...so I ended up dirty bulking my way up to 210lbs..lol I was chubs...and then started cutting for my #edcbod lol I ended up going to EDC at 193lbs...but then came back from EDC at 185lbs..lol thats raging for you lol. Defintiely put on some muscle since last year, but I eat like crap, so I didnt expect much lol

Now onto my Grande Finale of the past few months....EDC!
I really got back into EDM during college, thanks to Helen mostly, she blasted that shit nonstop lol But I really listen to EDM whenever I can...really lovin the vibe. I've almost completely cut oout hiphop & rap...tbh rap is really just negative, and listening to it is cool and all, but I feel EDM makes me more positive =]
Thus my decision to go to EDC happened...definitely a bucket list item...and I don't regret any part of it!
EDC was INSANE AMAZING AWESOME...honestly I don't have enough works to describe it. I don;t know if I'd go again, but it was really life changing haha. You really can't describe EDC either...its really about the experience, nothing can do it justice, not videos, nor pictures..you really just have to be there in the moment. I will forever remember every bit of it =]
To Summarize if into really short, my day 1 at EDC was meh...I skipped day 2..couldnt rage that hard...and Day 3 was the stairway to heaven lol. I got to see DEORRO who I've been wanting to see FOREVER and basically went to EDC for and it was sooooooooooooo dope...I was raging so hard lol. That whole day was amazing to be honest..But these are memories I will keep to myself ^_^

But yes..till next time =]

Lil clip of my Deorro Experience=]
video






Sunday, January 12, 2014

New Year, New Beginnings.

To be honest, I look at the tab on my browser for my blogspot and tell myself I should blog a bit or upload photos, but I'm too lazy usually since it's probably 2am in the morning by the time I do, or I'm just legitimately too tired to work or something. And now I find the time as I sit in a Starbucks stumped on my personal statement for my College apps to law school...

To recap on 2013: it was the craziest year for me. It went by so fast & everything was just the biggest blur, I felt like I was drunk for most of it(probably was lol) Half of it was full of college memories & the other half was the post grad aka REAL LIFE hitting me. My last blog entry was my graduation and looking back on it is so bittersweet. College is easy & hard, simple & difficult, a love & hate time of your life. There was so much stress in my life during those years, but I was the happiest I had ever been to be honest. I think back and life was so carefree. I see why people take that extra year after to just hang around and BS lol.

I went through my first real breakup(&heartbreak) last year as well. That was one hell of an experience I wish to never go through again. It was mutual, but to be honest I think, actually I know I fucked up. I was too selfish at the time, but it has made me grow, so I have little regrets. My only real regret is that our breakup ruined more than just our friendship but also of the others around us. Because we knew eachother for so long, we had a big web of friends and once our web was broken, it had a slight domino effect on the rest of the web. But I guess that how life works. I always thought I'd be the type to just brush off a heart break, but hell was I wrong. We knew eachother for almost 6 years I think. It's so hard to just get someone who you were close to out of your head like that, especially since there was no real hatred for the breakup, like cheating or something. To be honest she pops into my head fairly often now and then, just random thoughts. It sucks how you really cant be friends (atleast us) after dating for so long, I feel its just too awkward, I made one attempt, but that was way to awkward, so I gave up on that hope of bringing back a friend ship. Now were just basically strangers, I see her at the gym every now and then, but try my hardest to keep her outta my mind and any memories that may pop up, & we just walk by like we never knew eachother. I really don't know how she feels about me, but its probably along the lines of hating my guts lol. I don't really hate her, it just more of a I'm trying to forget her, I think its better to just be complete strangers. I haven't really talked to anyone about my break up, so this rant was much needed and bound to happen lol But life goes on....

After graduating I really decided that I wanted to go to law school, so I've been studying for my LSATs since August I believe, and holy shit its hard. It's actually been more demoralizing than uplifting. Ive been able to undertand and do the questions, but the time limit for the LSATs for these questions is rediculous. I have no clue how well I'm gonna do when I take it in February. But no matter what, Im motivated to go to law school. Also, I'm currently interning at a Law Firm in SJ, the drive sucks, but its fun being in the environment, I've been enjoying my time there alot and learning alot about the Lawyer life as well lol, being a lawyer is something I could definitely see myself doing in the future. I just wished I tried 200x harder in college, then maybe I coulda gotten into a top 5 law school...but who knows, I'm still hopeful lol

On to the fitness side of my life now, I'm kinda really into working out now, & I thank college for that. I dunno how but working out gets me through my weeks, even if I have to sacrifice sleep to get in a workout late after coming back from work lol. My progress hasnt been all that impressive though unfortunately, its actually been extremely slow, but thats cause I'm not putting everything I have into it. I honestly dont have enough time in the day or the patience to have a proper body building diet. I just eat what I want & workout basically. I feel healthy, and I'm happy with my body, so I'm in no rush to get a 6 pack...although I did have it at one point during the summer actually...an instagram sunfiltered one...but still a 6 pack is a 6 pack (pictured below) lol & then I began bulking & watched it slowly dwindle away lmao. I started at 180 and am working my way towards 200, I think I'm around 190 right now, a little over hopefully...progress has been extremely slow on gaining weight and I'm eating like mad too lol but I'll be cutting again soon, so I'm looking forward to having a more defined six pack this year =]

I'd go on some about my New Years Eve, but I have zero recollection of it..LMAO

I basically stopped shooting though, I really have no time, I shoot now and then randomly but the editing is too time consuming to even think about, so they all jst sit on my harddrive...I'll get back to it one day, but for now my life consists of Work, School (soon), studying, and the gym. I barely have enough time for my friends lol

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

YOLO: I may only live once, but I made friends for a lifetime.

This ones dedicated to the people I've met in Davis. I honestly don't know where to begin, I've met alot of people, but the ones below(and some missing) have changed my life in such a way, that words alone can't & won't fully describe what I feel for them. When I moved here I expected my housemates to be a skinny Mexican guy, and a nerdy Chinese kid who studied all the time. Low and behold, I ended up with Ivan & Jorge. Talk about irony..lol Ivan was the reason for at least 50% of the stress I felt that first year here, but he was also responsible for bringing it all together. I thank you Ivan. And although these guys graduated last year, they're still some of the realest people I know, and I'm talking about Herman, Leslie, Darryl, & Ivan of course. Always a pleasure when they all come visit or we get together. Then, there's this years group...I never expected to get as close as I have to you guys, but for the better, I'm glad that I did. Lincy, Michelle, Wilson, Sophia, Kevin, Nicky...So glad to have met each and every one of you. You guys are so humble and selfless that I wish I could've done more for you guys while we're all still together. I have so much respect for you all as individuals..I've never EVER been the type to open up to anyone...but the little opening up that I did to you guys, it just shows me how much trust I've put into you all. I know with my heart that you guys are all really good people. I really would take a bullet for each and every one of you guys. That ride or die life style. It's insane that we've all graduated (except for Kevin & Nicky..etc) and are moving on to our future. Although there are some memory gaps lol, I'll never forget the feeling of everyone just getting together and just having a blast. I really just enjoyed the company of such positive people to be honest, I had fun each and every time I'm with any of you guys, there was never any drama or anything like that & I love and respect it! Not many group of friends can do that. All I can hope is that we stay in contact with each other in our futures. Cause may we all grow old healthy and become rich...so hopefully we can still do what we do best =] I've never met such a diverse group of personalities who get along so well...whatever managed to put us together out of the all the people on this planet, I thank you...At whatever point in my life, whether we go our separate ways and never talk to eachother again or if we're still  in contact, I'm happy that I can think back to these years and have you guys in my memories of it....They say you meet some pretty cool people in college...well...I couldn't be any happier with the ones I have, y'all some of my best friends =]
Yolo. And I didnt forget about this beaner..lol Lived with this guy for 2 years now, glad I did. Didn't think I could get to know someone this well, we've bonded alot over the past 2 years, so much stupid stuff has been said...and all of it hilarious. I've watched this guy snap his ankle, to getting wasted and just acting like a kid on 7 juice boxes. Honestly its always fun, just hanging out with eachother, every minute is a laugh fest...doesnt matter what it is...lol I feel like I have so much in common with this guy that everything is really just natural...swear If I was gay, this dude would be the one...no homo though...lol It's hard to explain this words, but its the memories that'll stay with me. I'm not really one to talk about my feelings so I can't really describe what makes me consider someone my best friend...it just kinda happens. But at this point in my life, as I prepare to leave Davis, in my mind...Jorge is my best friend. I don't do sentimental stuff well, so if you read this Jorge and talk to me about it, I'mma slap you. lmao Jorge

Graduation: An ending to one story, a beginning to another.

The last 2 years of my life have been some of the most stressful times of my life. From just living on my own, worrying about myself, staying up for 36+ hours to study, to vomiting my soul out. There really have been times where I've wanted to give up. But even with those hard times, these last 2 years have been also amazingly great to me. Words cannot explain how much fun I've had and how I've never been happier in my life. I've changed so much as a person, inside & out, in the short amount of time from when I moved here. I can't seem to grasp how time as passed by so quickly, its such a bittersweet feeling. Davis, college, and all the wonderful people I've met have changed my life forever, and I will never forget my memories here. Its so surreal that I'm done here at Davis and that I move on to pursue my future. I'm still not 100% sure about it yet, but as I've always done, I shall live it just day to day. Everything always seems to fall in to place.
Everybody carry meee Girls Guys UP Friends Herman Nicky Darryl Michelle Lincy Sophia Wilson Kevin Housemates 2068 Drink Up Helen David Dustin Fam Mom & auntie

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Late Night Shooting

Needed some time alone to clear my thoughts, so I went on campus and shot around for a bit. Didn't take too many shots, it was more of just walking around enjoying the night. Campus at night is so nice.


Courtside Mrak Night Wellman Night Clubs Head Head 1

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Disneyland

Went to Disneyland for Kara's Birthday. I was really juiced to go to the new Cars Land...unfortunately I wasn't able to ride the main attraction; the wait for 3 and a half hours -__- BUT it was still fun nonetheless. We were able to hit just about every good ride, so I was content. And got to try the Blue Bayou for the 1st time..and it was BOMBBBB. Overall, a good trip, with its ups & downs..but its life..and its rough. lol Sucky Ride Ferris Boardwalk Radiator Springs Flos Cafe 1 Flos cafe 2 New Orleans Sq To & From Finish Line Sean Ashton